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When Kathy Roth-Douquet ’86 first had the idea for Blue Star Families, it was born of her own experience as the spouse of a Marine. A life of constant deployments, reassignments, and separation left Roth-Douquet often feeling lonely and far from family and friends who could help with the day-to-day problems we all face. 

Although there were existing organizations and programs to help military families, those efforts often consisted of little more than a care package put together as part of a corporate check-the-box charity activity. 

“It was often something that would just go right in the trash because it was nothing that I wanted or needed,” she says. “And in some ways, it made me feel worse. It’s not that no one was trying to do anything; it’s just that they were trying to do the wrong thing.” 

Support services also tended to be more available to military families living close to or on large bases, but today, 40 percent of deployed military are National Guard and Reserves, and 70 percent of all military members live off base. 

“People don’t realize that most of today’s service members don’t live on military bases,” Roth-Douquet says. “They’re in cities, suburbs, and small towns across America.” 

What Roth-Douquet suspected military families needed most was to feel connected to — and a part of — the community. 

An attorney with experience in government, politics, and the foundation world, she also knew that to make good decisions in starting the organization and to get substantial support for her ambitions, she’d need more than anecdotes; she’d need data. 

“People don’t realize that most of today’s service members don’t live on military bases. They’re in cities, suburbs, and small towns across America.” 

“Evaluating what we were doing and measuring what we were doing was extremely important from the beginning,” she says. “Because I didn’t want to waste my time or anybody else’s, and I didn’t want to waste anybody’s money.” 

As she launched Blue Star Families, Roth-Douquet worked with researchers on a first-of-its-kind survey to learn more about the needs of military families. 

Since then, more than 110,000 people have participated in the survey. Data from the survey has been used by the Department of Defense and a number of organizations and initiatives throughout the years, including the United Service Organizations and the Joining Forces initiative launched by First Ladies Michelle Obama and Jill Biden. 

“We are a neutral, trusted party. No one who’s filling out the survey has to worry about the command structure,” adds Susan Messina ’86, M.S.S. ’91, M.L.S.P. ’92, vice president for development for Blue Star Families. 

Survey questions have examined everything from military members’ feelings of discrimination in their community to factors impacting the ability of military spouses to maintain employment. 

After identifying the challenges faced by military families, Blue Star Families collaborates with other organizations interested in addressing the root causes. 

“Food insecurity is a problem for some servicemembers’ families,” says Roth-Douquet. “The solution can’t just be to create a food assistance program. The real solution is to make it more possible for military spouses to work.” 

In addition to research, advocacy, and partnering with other organizations, Blue Star Families, which is based in Washington, D.C., has 14 local chapters in the United States with plans to expand. These chapters organize events to help welcome military members into their community. 

The organization’s signature program is Welcome Week, which Roth-Douquet says was, in part, inspired by Bryn Mawr’s Lantern Night. 

“I really thought about Lantern Night and how everyone comes together for the people who are new to the community,” she says. 

Messina, who worked as a fundraiser for years, was a classmate of Roth-Douquet’s, and the two stayed in touch, often meeting at Bryn Mawr alumnae/i events. It was at an informal alum gathering in 2022 that Messina learned of an opening at Blue Star Families. 

“Kathy gave her elevator speech, and I thought ‘That’s an organization that knows what it’s doing,’” Messina recalls. 

Blue Star Families had recently received a $10 million grant from philanthropist MacKenzie Scott and was looking for people to join its development team. In March 2023, Messina joined the team, doubling the number of Bryn Mawr alums in the organization. 

The duo became a trio in 2024, when Dara Picard ’89 joined Messina in the development office. 

Picard had just finished up a consulting gig when she saw a post from Messina, whom she had worked with in the Admissions office while a tour guide. 

“She was looking for someone who was a Jack, or Jill, of all trades in the fundraising sphere,” Picard says. “Somebody who could do a little bit of everything, who could analyze data, who could write well, and who could think strategically about how we could do things better operationally within our own department.” 

In other words, a Mawrter. 

“So now here we all are,” Picard says, “learning and doing a broad variety of things through a different lens each day, and I really feel like that is the liberal arts come to life in the best possible way.” 

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